We Can Eat Our Way Out of This

Welcome to a special edition of Swine Flu Panic Center's news round-up. A lot has happened since our last report so let's hp to it. First this from the CDC:

 

clipped from cdc.gov

A Pandemic Is Declared

On June 11, 2009, the World Health Organization (WHO) raised the worldwide pandemic alert level to Phase 6 in response to the ongoing global spread of the novel influenza A (H1N1) virus. A Phase 6 designation indicates that a global pandemic is underway.

WHO’s decision to raise the pandemic alert level to Phase 6 is a reflection of the spread of the virus, not the severity of illness caused by the virus. It’s uncertain at this time how serious or severe this novel H1N1 pandemic will be in terms of how many people infected will develop serious complications or die from novel H1N1 infection. Experience with this virus so far is limited and influenza is unpredictable. However, because novel H1N1 is a new virus, many people may have little or no immunity against it, and illness may be more severe and widespread as a result. In addition, currently there is no vaccine to protect against novel H1N1 virus.

Lest I propagate the impression that no good has come of this pandemic, let me refer you to this email that I received, offering me a $500 USD Visa gift card just for answering a few simple questions about the upcoming plague:

Isn't that thoughtful?

For those of you who wish to keep tabs on the never-ending march of the H1N1 plague, here is the latest activity map from the Center for Disease Control. "CDC.gov- visit for the concern, stay for the fear."

Yes, the country is slowly turning brown. Wait until fall! And while I still romantically cling to the picture of a lone cosmic ray haplessly wandering the universe until it happens to pierce the DNA of the H1N1 genome, catastrophically rearranging it in Spiderman-fashion, and thereby creating a Super Virus, the more likely scenario seems to be a process called 'antigenic shift.' The problem it seems, is that pigs can contract swine, avian, and human viruses, and serve as a tureen of viruses where the whole soup exchanges bits of genetic sequences in a grand experiment to wipe-out humanity.

clipped from en.wikipedia.org

For example, if a pig were infected with a human influenza virus and an avian influenza virus at the same time, an antigenic shift could occur, producing a new virus that had most of the genes from the human virus, but a hemagglutinin or neuraminidase from the avian virus. The resulting new virus would likely be able to infect humans and spread from person to person, but it would have surface proteins (hemagglutinin and/or neuraminidase) not previously seen in influenza viruses that infect humans, and therefore to which most people have little or no immune protection. If this new virus causes illness in people and can be transmitted easily from person to person, an influenza pandemic can occur.^[5]

Fortunately there are sincere folks who just want to help. Take this guy:

He even offers a shampoo that can help:

Could this elixir be the 'Fountain of Youth'? Could it cure or prevent the flu? We'll never know, since it is not subject to rigorous scientific testing.  At least it doesn't come from 'The Valley of the Shadow of Death.'

 

 

Just remember folks: we CAN eat our way out of this global threat. I wanna give a shout-out to all my Vegan and vegetarian friends: think about the future of the planet and reconsider sausage- today!

Panic Spreads at Accelerating Pace!

 

It's been a big week for the H1N1 virus. Besides making plans for an Autumnal apocalyptic mutation, the WHO finally granted it pandemic status, raising the stature of this virus from a porcine outcast to a full-fledged threat to humanity:

clipped from www.cnn.com

Swine flu 'not stoppable,' World Health Organization says

(CNN) The World Health Organization raised the swine flu alert Thursday to its highest level, saying the H1N1 virus has spread to enough countries to be considered a global pandemic.

 

Elsewhere, lightning-rod for disasters, Mayor Ray Nagin was detained in a Swine Flu quarantine:

clipped from www.cnn.com

New Orleans mayor quarantined in China for possible flu exposure

(CNN) -- The mayor of New Orleans, Louisiana, has been quarantined in China after possible exposure to the H1N1 virus, his office said Sunday.

Mayor Ray Nagin, who traveled to China on an economic development trip, flew on a plane that carried a passenger being treated for symptoms suspected to be from the virus, commonly known as the swine flu virus, the mayor's office said in a statement.

 

While the laudably panicky level of this response is rewarding, we wish it could have been a State Department Official, or perhaps even the President himself who had been detained. This would have added a welcome element of international political crisis to the health threat. Fortunately, we also have news of an American citizen  exercising his right to bear arms, albeit in an unspecified manner related  somehow to his own child's case of  H1N1. Achoo! This is nothing to sneeze at- that gun is loaded and ready to vaccinate:

 

clipped from www.cnn.com

Police: School official wrestles gun-wielding dad over flu memo

NEW YORK (CNN) -- A New York middle school superintendent wrestled to the ground a gun-wielding parent apparently irate over the school's latest swine flu memo, officials said.

Police and school officials identified the suspect as Peter Cocker, 37, parent of a recently ill student at South Orangetown Middle School in Rockland County.

The man barged into the office of South Orangetown School District Superintendent Ken Mitchell brandishing a gun, said B.J. Greco, public information officer for the district.

 

thanks to Susan from Westport CT for contributing to this update.